Winter: Dark and Hopeless {Building Marriage} » Joel and Amber Photography Blog

Winter: Dark and Hopeless {Building Marriage}

A Mocha For Your Tuesday

May 7, 2019

Marriage Tips //Building A Stronger Marriage // Wedding Photographers Huntsville Alabama

In the last Mocha, we introduced the idea of seasons in your marriage. {If you missed it, you can find it here!} Just like there are seasons of the year and seasons in our lives, there are also seasons in marriage.

This Mocha series was inspired by some devotionals in Gary Chapman’s, The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional. I’ll be sharing some of his thoughts throughout this series, as well!

Winter in Marriage

Winter. I admit that it’s not my favorite season. Even as a South Dakota native, I have sunshine and sweet tea running through my veins. Not the dark, cold days that sometimes feel endless with their 4pm sunsets, chilly wind, and fingers that are sometimes too cold to hit the shutter button during a session.

Winter in marriage can feel that way, too. Gary describes the emotions of a winter marriage as “hurt, anger, disappointment, loneliness, and rejection.”

It’s when things are dark and feel hopeless. Maybe you’ve been having marriage problems for awhile, and you’ve finally hit the end of your rope. You don’t see any way out or any hope of change. The problems are bigger than you can handle.

We Don’t Want To Admit

That it could ever happen to us. None of us get married expecting to find ourselves almost strangers (worse than strangers) with our spouse. And while it’s not guaranteed that your marriage will have to suffer to the extremes of hopelessness, there will be hard times. You might  not believe it as a newlywed, but there will be a time or two when you wonder if you might have made the wrong choice.

Hope for Winter

To quote Gary, “The good news is that a winter marriage often makes couples desperate enough to break out of their suffering and seek the help of a counselor or pastor… Good advice is highly valuable, and often the perspective of someone outside the relationship is critical for people who really want to change. Those who seek help will find it.”

If you’re fighting through a winter season in marriage, we encourage you to talk to your pastor or someone you trust. It sometimes feel hopeless, but we always cling to the promise of spring. (Especially as we drive both to and from work in the dark.)

If you’ve never experienced the challenges of winter in your marriage, I challenge you to be prepared. Seasons of fall are even more common in marriage (we’ll talk more about fall and its warning signs later). If you’re willing to pay attention and work through problems before they turn into a winter chill, you’ll find great blessing in the reconciliation.

Next time we’ll be talking about a hopeful spring!



Looking for more marriage building topics? We’ve got you covered!

An Attitude Becomes A Mindset, and A Mindset Becomes A Way of Life

How Losing Control Will Benefit Your Marriage

The #3 Thing People Want to Save

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