We are so absolutely thrilled to have a guest post today from Emily Johnson! She’s been a sweet, godly friend of ours ever since our college days. One of the first things I noticed about her when I visited what became my home church in college was her sweet and strong spirit. She loves God and others so well.
Emily is now happily married to Jacob (who we also think the world of!) and enjoying their newborn little boy! We’re so excited to have Emily sharing a great piece of marriage advice with you on this week’s Marriage Mocha. I think you’re going to love it as much as I do!
“The best, best piece of marriage advice I got was “if you can’t see his hands, trust his heart.”
Essentially, if you don’t know why your spouse is doing what they are doing or if seems out of character for them, trust their intentions. Would they ever intentionally hurt me or do something to hurt me? What is his heart towards me? This has helped me bite my tongue on so many occasions and stopped a lot of petty picking before it started!
My husband and I met each other and were engaged and married in only seven months. We were deeply in love, but the first year of marriage involved working through a lot of communication issues.
Many times, I did not heed the advice given to me and I was needlessly upset over small things, such as “why did he make such a mess while cooking me dinner? I worked hard to keep the kitchen clean and now it’s dirty.” See the problem in this thought process? He made me dinner. I completely overlooked that. I couldn’t see why making a salad involved such a mess, when I should have trusted his heart in serving me and making me dinner.
Recently, we have been blessed with a sweet baby boy who has filled our life with joy (and lots of dirty diapers). This life change has offered many opportunities to practice this principle. When the diaper change seems to be taking longer than I think it should, the baby’s clothes are not in exactly the right basket, or he isn’t comforting the baby in the way I would, I have learned to remember “Trust him. He’s your husband and he loves you and your son.”
All of these annoyances are selfish because they are what I want and how I think things should be done! When I have stepped back to see his heart, I have found that my love for him has just grown through watching him serve me and lead our home and love our son. And, truth be told, he has stepped into the role of father like it was tailor-made for him. It is a blessing to watch.
It’s easy to let little annoyances become big issues. Just remember to stop and think “trust his heart. He is just trying to help/be kind/make this easier for me/do his best.” And when you mess up (as we all do!), be quick to ask forgiveness. Tell them specifically “I didn’t trust you, and I’m sorry.” Most of the time, that will go a long way towards reconciliation and growth in your marriage.
If you can’t see his hands, trust his heart.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:7”
So good, isn’t it? If you want to keep reading, check out this guest post with our J&A Bride Olivia Pirtle or one of my all-time favorite Mochas, How I Stopped Getting Annoyed.
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