Hard To Define, Harder To Do. {Building Marriage}

A Mocha For Your Tuesday

Nov 6, 2018

Marriage Tips //Building A Stronger Marriage // Huntsville Wedding Photographers

A few weeks ago we talked about the well-known 1 Corinthians 13 verses about love (check it out here). With facets like a diamond, each tiny little phrase is packed with meaning. We dove into “Love is patient”, and this week we’re looking at kindness.

“Love is kind.”

One of the challenging things about this verse is that it’s sometimes hard to really define “kind”. It’s easy to brush over it, assuming that you’ve got this kindness thing under control. You’re a good person, right? You try to be nice to other people (unless they’re just super annoying and don’t deserve any extra effort).

Because it’s a broad term that encompasses so much, we need to spend some time paying attention to what it looks like in day-to-day life. Otherwise, we’ll be putting that “I got this” checkmark by it more quickly than we should.

So how would you define kindness?

There’s a ton of synonyms you could use to describe kindness. Courtesy, gentleness, compassion, unselfishness, graciousness, hospitality, good-hearted, mildness, tact, even sweetness. The thesaurus.com list goes on.

Kindness is a very active concept. All of those synonyms listed above are ways that we actively serve. To be courteous, to be tactful. It describes how we should be treating others. There is an entire attitude enveloped within those descriptions.

What does this all come down to? And what does it have to do with marriage?

Can you see how important these same aspects are for showing love in your marriage?

It’s about actively loving our spouse in a way that brings them great good. It values them and cherishes them. You actively demonstrate your love through mildness of manner, unselfishness, and graciousness.

Instead of rash words, you speak calmly and with consideration. When you really want the last piece of chocolate cheesecake, you offer to split it. (And give him the biggest half, of course!) You speak with true gentleness and love when you see something your spouse might need to reconsider.

It’s easy to come up with a hundred examples of what kindness looks like, but it’s also a hundred times harder to show kindness when those feelings aren’t there.

Easy? Sometimes.

Do you find it easy to be kind when everything is peachy-keen? Me, too. But when things aren’t going my way, it’s a whole different story. And that’s when we need to remember this the most.

I’ll close with something else our pastor said during the sermon that was really impactful. He said that the active nature of kindness is always ready to do good and find opportunities. Kindness looks for opportunities to bring out some of those characteristics we listed above.

How can you look for opportunities to be kind in your marriage this week, especially when you’re not feeling particularly gracious at the moment?

Do you think showing kindness in those moments will have a huge impact on your marriage?

Here’s to building stronger marriages, one day at a time!



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