“Betsy and I were building more of a symphony than a pop song.”
Donald Miller wrote an incredible book on relationships titled Scary Close. During this scene, he shared how his past unhealthy relationships were filled with drama and Hollywood passion.
But with Betsy, (now his wife), it was different. Building a lasting, trusting relationship was a slow process. It reminds me of a past blog post I wrote on nurturing your marriage so the roots grow deeply. It’s not always glamorous or exciting in the nitty-gritty of everyday life, but it makes for a beautiful relationship.
I found that quote so beautiful. In a world of pop songs and dramatic rom-coms on Netflix, the concept of a symphony feels almost old-fashioned.
In high school, I played violin for a small community orchestra. One of my favorite memories was our annual performance of Handel’s Easter Messiah. Professional and amateur musicians and choirs joined us, and oh! I adored the experience of hearing the bass and alto parts come in while my fingers were covering first violin. It was surreal being in the middle of it all.
The notes and parts would swell and taper, one after another. just like a whole chorus of waves in the ocean. The complexity of every single instrument, every single voice, all coming together to make something beautiful.
That’s what I want my marriage to look like. The complexity of all of life’s emotions, details, activities, and dreams coming together to create a song that is uniquely mine and Joel’s.
Marriage is not simple. It’s not always easy. There are parts you stumble through and have to practice over and over again. Sometimes rehearsal goes well and you’re on top of the world. Other times you want to bang your head against your violin case.
Building a symphony of marriage is a slow, intentional process. It takes hours of practice. You need to pay attention to all the notes, not just the ones you think sound the prettiest.
Don’t go for a surface level pop song that feels dramatic and exciting. Build something deeper that’s going to stand the test of time, every time. Marriage is worth fighting for!
P.S. Looking for more marriage building thoughts? Don’t miss Are You Pulling the Veto Card!
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