The Art of Assigning Responsibilities {Building Marriage}

“Sooner rather than later, sit down with your spouse and figure out who is supposed to do what. Not defining household duties and then doing them is a cause of innumerable unnecessary arguments and hurt feelings. And remember, regardless of who does it, someone is going to have to do every chore, or the household won’t function. This includes cooking and cleaning.”

~Andrew Webb

I stumbled across an article a few weeks ago that PCA pastor Andrew Webb wrote for Christians who want a happy marriage. As a pastor, he’s counseled many couples in their marriages and saw some of the same issues arise more often than not.

I found this comment interesting and worth a moment of thought. It’s true and something that most of us wouldn’t stop to think about. We always say that setting expectations ahead of time is the key to eliminating many potential issues that can stem from misunderstandings before they ever occur.

You probably have a general idea of who’s responsible for what. One of you will more than likely be fond of cooking – so that task probably falls to the chef in the relationship. One you can’t stand folding laundry, so the other get that job by default. Simple enough, right?

What about the times when it becomes not so clear cut? You run into a season of life where you’re both exhausted and have scheduled packed so tightly that there’s not a minute to spare before you dropped into bed at night. The stress levels are high and tension is sure to follow.

I think it is worth thinking about dividing up the tasks between the two of you. That’s not to say that you can’t help each other out, of course! Joel often helps me cook dinner at night, but ultimately I know that I’m the one who needs to make sure there’s food on the table. I’ll mow the lawn every once in awhile (I actually love to mow!), but I don’t pay a lot of attention to it because I know it’s Joel’s responsibility to either do it or delegate it to me.

Joel and I each know what to generally expect from each other. It eliminates the frustration I’d feel if I thought that Joel was dropping the ball because I expected him to do something he didn’t know I expected him to do.

If one of us needs help, we know how to ask. :)

Interesting thought to consider, and I think it’s worth a conversation with your spouse!

*hugs*

~Amber