How Sandwiches Taught Me To Find Our Own Story {Building Marriage}

I once received this valuable piece of marriage advice:

“Remember that you and Joel come from completely different families. You’re coming from different habits and traditions. You will both need to find a routine that’s uniquely yours.”

Joel and I are both blessed to come from really incredible families. I love his family and he loves mine, and our “in-law” experiences are good ones. Our families share the same faith and have many of the same principles in life. We’ve been blessed!

But then comes family vacation. Joel’s family always packed a big picnic lunch and ate at a rest stop along the way. Sandwich fixings, tuna pasta salad, and sliced raw vegetables. My family’s version of road-trip food is McDonald’s for breakfast, Burger King for lunch, and McDonald’s for supper! It’s what we did with a family of 6 driving halfway across the country in less than 2 days. Fast, easy, economical, and home of the fabulous playgrounds of the 90s.

So Joel and I start dating at college and we decide to road trip out to see my parents in NC. I’m like “Ooh! Fun! My own road trip! I get to decide whether I’m in the McDonald’s mood today or if I’d rather rock that Hardee’s burger. Maybe I’ll branch out and try a Wendy’s!”

And Joel asked me what kind of sandwiches I was making.

Umm…..

This is just a funny story from our early dating days, but it’s so true that we have to remember that our own way isn’t necessarily the only way or the “right” way.

Your mom might have been an amazing cook that had a 3-course dinner on the table by the time your dad got home from work every day, but your wife might not be interested in competing for the Next Food Network Star. She might be overwhelmed with just the thought of cooking, much less knowing the menu ahead of time to shop for groceries. Spaghetti tonight and leftover spaghetti tomorrow night is cooking enough for her!

Your dad might have been meticulous with yard care, but your husband doesn’t know the difference between a weed and the flowering vines you just planted next to your mailbox. Mowed the lawn? Check.

Be careful about putting family habits and traditions on your spouse. Some expectations are healthy, but many are just a personal preference.

Find your own routines in life and take your favorites from both your past experiences. It might be hard to let go at first, but you’ll find that you’ll both start matching your preference after awhile.

In case you’re wondering, Joel and I pack sandwiches for lunch and splurge a little extra on dinner. We call it a win-win. :)

*hugs*

Amber