Turn Conflict Into Love

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”

~Leo Tolstoy

There are many other factors involved in a happy marriage, but how you deal with conflict is important!

No matter how much you love each other, you’re going to disagree at some point. You’re going to get annoyed. You might even get angry.

Be intentional about how you deal with these feelings.

Words spoken in haste are many times regretted.

Take a breath. Step back from the situation and ask yourself what outcome you want to come from this. Do you want angry words to be spoken between the two of you, only to be apologized for later? Are they worth the shallow relief you feel from venting your anger?

Or do you want conflict to bring you together? To give you the opportunity to show each other your commitment by your actions? Do you want to use the opportunity to talk about how you can find a way to bring peace to the situation?

Don’t use “being open and honest about your feelings” as an excuse to say whatever hurtful things you want. Of course, honesty is very important. Just make sure that your honest words are being spoken in love and with your spouse’s good in mind, not out of reaction.

Learn each other’s love language and how you each deal best with conflict. Talk about how you respond best to constructive criticism or hurt feelings. You’ll be more prepared to deal with your incompatibility in love, not anger.

What things do you do in your relationship to bring peace in conflict? We’d love to hear! Share your advice in the comments below!

*hugs*

Amber